how do you sum up an entire life in a few simple words? an emotion with just one? and digest a love in a short few weeks? the worst part is not knowing what you're supposed to make of it. is it supposed to just go away and pretend it was never there in the first place? or are you supposed to find a way to make it good as new, to allow for any imperfections to dissappear with the way your voice curls over her ears, the way her touch burns away the misery in the past. how is one to know what to make of something when they aren't given any words of wisdom, nothing to play off of. just the empty silence and the overactive imagination you were given long before she worked her way into your life. only the memories of what she once told you and a hope that those emotions still ring true somewhere deep inside and there is a way to access them. only problem is how???
each day a nagging, tugging feeling at your heart telling you to pick up the phone and remind her just how you feel, but the fear.
oh the fear. it cripples even the brave of heart. wounds the invincible. now how to beat it without becoming a total intoxicated fool?
how to sympathize with someone hurt by something that you wouldn't usually give a second thought. something you wouldn't even need to forgive someone for doing to you. someone so innocent to the world around and all of it's bullshit it throws at you. but it's someone that you can't survive without so you think and realise just how much of a deal to someone so sheltered such a thing could be. you think you get it, so you're ready to apologize and actualy mean it for the act itself, not just the emotions it evoked.
turns out I have a heart after all. who knew.
<3 <3
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