Wednesday, January 16, 2013

but we are not the same.

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he walks into the classroom just like any other, picks a seat and mentally prepares himself for the three-hour lecture. what he doesn't ...
Thursday, December 20, 2012

nothing changes, nothing changes.

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he's so numb, going into this place here nothing feels real. there's no one to ask, no one to talk him through. because it's the...
Friday, November 16, 2012

this ends tonight.

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he can't escape, can't awaken from this feeling. his soul is eating him alive and he can't help but be crushed under the weight ...
Saturday, November 3, 2012

let's run away.

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midterm season once again, although this time he's lost his motivation. he doesn't know how to make himself focus and study. he does...
Wednesday, October 24, 2012

want to be a mighty king.

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there is nothing that has turned him against sleep. in fact, he rather enjoys it, but these days it is becoming increasingly harder to reach...
Monday, October 22, 2012

I don't wanna miss one kiss.

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he keeps telling himself it's okay, he can do it. he's just having issues dealing with missing out on what seems like everything. th...
Wednesday, October 17, 2012

what's in a name.

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there he is, silent while they misjudge him. he doesn't want to cause a scene. they don't know how much it kills him inside. they do...
Friday, October 12, 2012

guess who's back.

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he watches life from the outside, peering into what teenaged times are supposed to be. he hears everything through the grapevine. he's b...
Friday, September 21, 2012

my one and own.

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he's sliced away at his skin over and over, leaving it to be almost a kink ritual at times, a catholic-like self beating at others. he...
Wednesday, September 12, 2012

the silence.

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some days he wonders about the people who, for a moment, where the only other person in the world. he wonders about those who he's share...
Thursday, September 6, 2012

keep holding on.

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he could spend his whole life being beaten down and never get used to it. it's even worse when things seem to be going pretty well and t...
Wednesday, September 5, 2012

I'm so tired.

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first day of college and he's ready to cry. it's not the work, it's not the long days, it's not the school plus two jobs plu...
Tuesday, September 4, 2012

somebody rip my heart out.

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in the morning he starts college, in the morning he has the first day of the rest of his life. he doesn't know how to deal with the morn...
Saturday, September 1, 2012

but baby I'm trying.

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three months. she's let him grace her with the privilege of being her boyfriend for three months thus far and he's so drunk off her ...
Thursday, August 30, 2012

hold onto the feeling.

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he knows it hasn't been that long, he knows that she's still so young and could grow out of him at any moment, he just doesn't c...
Wednesday, August 29, 2012

there's nothing else you can do.

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after days away he can't seem to function properly anymore. he needs to see her, needs to feel her, needs to be there for her. he thinks...
Monday, August 27, 2012

really good to hear your voice.

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it all goes so well, he can open his mouth a little, he can explain just what she means to him. he honestly can start planning the rest of t...
Sunday, August 19, 2012

that's what I call entertainment.

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and all of a sudden he doesn't know how much of it is his demisexuality and how much is how much he cares about her, but other girls mea...
Thursday, August 16, 2012

you can't ever take the sky.

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he's been so distracted by life and trying to figure out schedules for school and work at two different establishments and when his moth...
Tuesday, August 7, 2012

darkness turns to light.

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he sits at home watching the clouds float over the sun, waiting for something to happen. waiting for his phone to buzz, waiting for some sig...
Saturday, July 7, 2012

nothing to hold on to.

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he can't even think anymore. there's the heat of Japan in July fucking with him, the girl that he can't get over how amazing she...
Tuesday, June 26, 2012

I nearly cried.

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the days are running out and he's pulling out his hair in frustration. he'd spend every moment with her if it weren't for the gi...
Friday, June 22, 2012

what a feeling.

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he's been busy, trying to figure out the world. he's taken the time to learn a little more about himself, the future, everything aro...
Thursday, June 7, 2012

I waste my time.

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he's so fed up with the schools. 13 years they screwed him over and in 4 more school days it will all be over. he's done with the la...
Monday, June 4, 2012

you and me and all of the people.

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in a school where his grad class consists of idiots and people who really don't know a thing about life, he doesn't know what's ...
Saturday, June 2, 2012

I have a dream about her.

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he can't remember life much before she started making every day a beautiful day. 19 days filled with her and it feels like this is how i...
Friday, June 1, 2012

and it feels so right.

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he's so close to the end, yet those last couple weeks seem to be the hardest. he's barely been paying attention the last couple week...
Saturday, May 26, 2012

the only doom that looms is you loving me to death.

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he just doesn't know how to explain how she makes him feel. everything good about the world seems to have collapsed in on one thing that...
Thursday, May 24, 2012

we live in a beautiful world.

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he hasn't had the chance to catch his breath and he isn't so sure that he even wants to. everything happens at once, when he least e...
Saturday, May 19, 2012

I wanna be your lover.

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he's all out of his wits, not knowing what he should be doing. his heart's saying a few different things, his head tries to hide fro...
Wednesday, May 16, 2012

and I'm sorry I can't be perfect.

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it took him playing a rapist in a mock trial to admit to himself that what happened years ago was rape. it took three whole years, three yea...

it can't be that bad.

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he's so hard on himself, trying to have all the perfect things. he's trying to make it all seem flawless when in reality everything ...
Sunday, May 13, 2012

wail at the moon.

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he's been so crazy busy trying to keep up with it all that he's completely forgotten entire segments of every piece he needs to get ...
Saturday, May 12, 2012

living with not dying from disease.

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he's come back to the place where he's so close yet so far away. he could get on with his life, cut those last couple strands, and b...
Wednesday, May 9, 2012

breaking my back.

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he'd been trudging along thus far, trying to gain some sort of insight as to the world's need for him. before he knew it the days pa...
Tuesday, May 8, 2012

like I knew that I would now.

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he doesn't even know how to deal with his emotions. he goes to this place of extreme femme everytime he highly, highly enjoys something....
Sunday, May 6, 2012

goo goo gajoob.

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he's not quite sure how to deal with so much technology at once. he's had two years of getting used to his iPod and now an android p...
Thursday, May 3, 2012

you are unforgiven.

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he's so unprepared. everything that he's been told his entire life seems as if it is happening all at once and he doesn't know h...
Wednesday, May 2, 2012

in the end it doesn't even matter.

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he tries to get a little more into a body he can feel comfortable in. his mother complains about it all. he wears mens jeans, she flips, he ...
Saturday, April 28, 2012

some kind of innocence.

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leaving the town he's come to fall in love with yet again after a beautiful week, reality is setting in. the people he'll be returni...
Friday, April 27, 2012

sleep the pain, come over.

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he's so insignificant. next to the boy who wins youth Gandhi awards and slam poetry competitions, fills hearts with hope through ideas t...
Tuesday, April 24, 2012

pain, perfection, muscle spasms.

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he's made the trip down to Ashland a little easier than it could have been. rent parties always seem to put him in a good mood, he doesn...
Monday, April 23, 2012

don't know when I'll be back again.

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all he really wants is a chance to be recognized as something at least close to his 'gender'. he's tired of the same people usin...
Saturday, April 21, 2012

crying like church on Monday.

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two night of being onstage. the last two of his high school career. he should've felt something, like something was breaking inside. jus...
Wednesday, April 18, 2012

more than you could ever know.

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he rides the fast train to confusion. in everything he does, he does to try to get a step closer to finding answers. he's slowly discove...
Sunday, April 15, 2012

and over again.

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his body itches, aches for sharp objects. he craves the pain that he once knew with every fragment of his being. he deserves it, he should b...
Saturday, April 14, 2012

faster, faster.

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having a day to just relax was something he needed. sure, a big vanlock event would have been nice, but the three people made it a lot easie...

this is crazy.

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he'd thought the kony 2012 project was just about over, turns out it's only the beginning. the invisible children road trip people c...
Thursday, April 12, 2012

underneath the bridge.

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he sees the world with new eyes every passing day. one day he sees humanity, wants to butcher them all in one blow, the next he can't he...
Monday, April 9, 2012

the world will never be the same.

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everything he's tried to stay away from has come back to haunt him. the memories, the different stages in his life, the parts of himself...
1 comment:

all confidential.

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he's dealing with things. he doesn't even seem to notice that it was Easter all fucking day. no attempting to get the whole family t...
Sunday, April 8, 2012

you are unforgiven.

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his days are dragging on, the holidays come and go and he doesn't even notice. they all seem like ordinary days, he works, his family fi...
Saturday, April 7, 2012

watch it burn as I touch your face.

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his mornings off school consist of waking up early, falling asleep, waking up at a normal time, going back to sleep, and finally waking up r...
Thursday, April 5, 2012

plenty of ammunition.

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his internal clock isn't ticking, he can't find anything to tell him what time it is so he tries to sleep in the day and all night, ...
Tuesday, April 3, 2012

the secret things that nobody knows somehow you've figured out.

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he runs his fingers through his windswept hair, roughly, not caring as he tears at the strands. he tugs a little harder, hoping for some sor...
Monday, April 2, 2012

if I knew what I was missing.

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he gets so caught up in the world, the objects and people around him, that sometimes he forgets to live his own life. he's caught himsel...
Saturday, March 31, 2012

tell me that we're all alone.

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he made it through 30 hours, sleeping for the last 3 1/2. he would have thought that high jump mats would be comfy to sleep on, but he ended...
Thursday, March 29, 2012

it's 3AM, she won't put out.

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with all his random escapades he doesn't even know how he's managed to get so boring. maybe he started having fun too young, maybe h...
Wednesday, March 28, 2012

when the bee stings.

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the wind outside his window keeps picking up, leaving him a little more scared than he should be. he's hungry, tired and really not some...
Tuesday, March 27, 2012

I'm just doing what comes naturally.

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he's been so tired since he's  gotten back to school. it's not even the waking up early or the amount if homework, it's the ...

the sun goes down.

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if there's one thing he wants more than anything, it's peace, closely followed by love. the two together are the only reasons he wil...
Sunday, March 25, 2012

every day I see my dream.

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more than anything he wants people to look at him and see him as the personification of the word faggot. not in a bad way, well maybe a litt...

don't say maybe.

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he's trying to just breathe and not go deeper into this attack of emotion for her, but every time he sees her face or her name comes up ...
Saturday, March 24, 2012

if you want to.

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he can't even do emotions. he winds up back to being on good, better than good terms with the girl who was so much in his life, the girl...
Friday, March 23, 2012

knock me wholesome.

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he's almost done spring break and he has almost nothing to show for it. he's almost finished a few scholarship applications, he'...
Thursday, March 22, 2012

girl I wanna take you to a gay bar.

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more than anything he just wants to see bits of the world that won't make him angry at humanity. he wants to forget the times that life ...
Wednesday, March 21, 2012

we're all dead inside.

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he hates the environment he's in. he hates the fact he has to get shit done, hates that the heat is always cranked the fuck up so he can...
Tuesday, March 20, 2012

end of the world.

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he knows he has to give her up, but he can't seem to stop feelings. he's been fighting them for over a year but that doesn't cha...
Monday, March 19, 2012

I'll be there and you'll be near.

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he doesn't have a clue how he's going to finish the year without dying. he has a week left before he goes back to school and then 3 ...
Sunday, March 18, 2012

how bad could it be?

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st.patty's day and he spent it by himself for the most part. enough doctor who to keep him satisfied for quite a while, although he coul...
Saturday, March 17, 2012

let it grow.

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emotions don't even know how to stay away from him. he tries and tries, but then there are beautiful movies like the Lorax and it all go...
Friday, March 16, 2012

left a scar size extra large.

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of all the things in the world he knows that there are only a select few that would ever make him any bit happier. the easiest of those bein...
Thursday, March 15, 2012

I couldn't do nothing right.

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there's all these emotions that he doesn't know how to stop. they weren't necessarily wanted in the first place and they aren...
Wednesday, March 14, 2012

oh what a thing to do.

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he's ready to get his new passport now, all the forms sent in and just waiting to be processed. somehow he's hoping against all logi...
Monday, March 12, 2012

she says good morning.

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he had to wake before the sun yet again. daylight savings isn't working with him this time of year.. he hates being so tired in the morn...
Friday, March 9, 2012

the other one's giving a peace sign.

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he's off for spring break and all he wants to do is sleep, he can't handle more of life without a bunch of rest. he doesn't even...
Thursday, March 8, 2012

at the end of the rainbow.

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he remembers grade 8 French class. they all had to pick "French names". all he wanted was to be Guy, but he wasn't allowed bec...
Wednesday, March 7, 2012

time will not erase.

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he was moved to tears by the movement, by the video. then he went about caring so much. until hours after he had not sat and processed the v...
Tuesday, March 6, 2012

gave away the ending.

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his level of energy for life, work, play, almost anything is decreasing. he can't seem to find the motivation to do anything other than ...
Sunday, March 4, 2012

somebody that I used to know.

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he's not ready to do anything productive for the next few weeks. he's unprepared for anything outside of being lazy and interwebs an...
Saturday, March 3, 2012

I've never felt like this before.

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he is more than a jumble of letters making up a name, more than the sound it makes. he is more than the labels others stick on him conscious...
Friday, March 2, 2012

a dirty town gets me down.

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he can't seem to do anything properly. he spends time trying to figure out how to ask girls out and they don't really get the fact t...
Thursday, March 1, 2012

we can be complete again.

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he's ready to just let go and let himself float along to the end of the school year. the amount of effort he's put in just to have t...

get to purest hell.

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in all the chaos, he's not been able to really do much to calm his heart. the shameless flirting with everything that moves hasn't b...
Tuesday, February 28, 2012

make them cry.

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he wants to get out there and make a change. he just doesn't know how he can with the short leash he is kept on. for most of his life he...
Monday, February 27, 2012

suckered you but not your friends.

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another shitty Monday and he can't seem to get his head to do the work that his conscience tells him he'd better get started on. he...
Sunday, February 26, 2012

the painful scream that I heard last.

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he's never been one for awards shows or glitzy things. fuck, the only reason he liked going to hollywood was because of Venice Beach. we...
Saturday, February 25, 2012

lookin' at me, yeah me.

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he never thought he'd enjoy himself so much on a night out with the crew he's been so judgmental of. he'd spent so much time try...