the world will never be the same.

everything he's tried to stay away from has come back to haunt him. the memories, the different stages in his life, the parts of himself he wishes never existed. in some ways he's disgusted by how much he's become someone so different than he imagined. in others, he's just waiting for things to get back on track. he's just so tired of everything and how the world spins and the amount of homework he hasn't quite done yet. everything seems so commonplace, as if from a world he doesn't really belong in at all. all the creative energy running through him just gets flattened into mundane tasks. it's killing any chance at having an enjoyable high-school life.  he's realizing how little of the school year is left to go. it's scaring him. he thought he had all this time when really he's cutting it pretty close now. he should be working towards finding ways to get his grades to their top for the last two months. instead he's still fucking around and forgetting to do homework and falling asleep as soon as he gets home. two weeks and he'll be in Ashland. another three weeks and he'll be writing his AP exam. closely followed by boat cruise. then about a month before school's out. it's getting to the last legs and that terrifies him more than anything. at least he knows what to expect for next year and enjoys the subject matter completely.  <3 <3