I couldn't do nothing right.

there's all these emotions that he doesn't know how to stop. they weren't necessarily wanted in the first place and they aren't doing anything to better his life in the least. he wishes he could close his eyes and wake up with things making more sense, when friends aren't becoming objects of affection. he would give so much of the little that he has just to be happy with the way things are, just to not want anything more. he would give it all to be able to love himself the way he finds himself loving others, to be able to look in a mirror and not want to run away screaming, to not feel ashamed of himself for most of his life.  he's climbing a slippery slope, trying to find his way in a world where he doesn't seem to fit in the mainstream, where education can only get him so far. he's trying to make the best out of it all when he doesn't even agree with how the human race works. he's just praying to gods he doesn't believe in that in his next life he'll be part of some other, more peaceful species.  he can't seem to put in the energy into making anything of this wasted life. none of it makes any sense, so he waits around for some sort of direction, some one who can vocalize his feelings of discontent with humanity, someone who can tell him how to get back to nature now that he's tasted all these new technological advances. he's scared out of his mind to take a chance then realize he's made the wrong decision.  <3 <3