you don't have to try.

some days there really was meant to be no actual party, just a build up. just a chance to have a bit of human contact. sometimes fog machines set off fire alarms in entire buildings, causing firefighters to crash the party before it even really starts.  these days the only reason to hang out with friends seems to be to rber the fact that he just can't control himself for much longer, he needs some sort of physical attention from girls. alone kills him, reinforces the idea in his mind that he's just not good enough. he needs just something out of the ordinary, something to keep himself from bursting completely.  there's only one problem, such nights make him tired. there's no way for him to escape the constant drowsiness he deals with after a night out. every bone in his body is crying out, hoping for something that will make a difference. he gets so close to closing his eyes for the night, then he thinks of her and the tears come flooding back, just waiting for everything to be over.. <3 <3