if you swear to listen.

he's happy to rest after such an eventful day. then he realizes it's only tuesday. he's more of a clutz than he ever realized before, he manages to trip over speed bumps and crash into doors while trying to look manly. he really is the definition of of a screw up.  the worst part is that he doesn't even care anymore, he's gotten so used to being that object to point and laugh at.  lately in life, god has been mentioned around him, in his school projects, in everything. it's forced him to relook at what he believes in all this shinanaigans. if there is a god out there somewhere (which he highly doubts, ze most likely died a long time ago after initially creating the first sparks of Earth) ze must be a sadistic, sick fuck. sure, ze does a little bit of good every once in a while, if that is really god, but most of the time god just sits there and watches people suffering, people dying. to believe in a god that would do such a thing is somewhat insane. hir amount of followers is freaking rediculous for the amount of fuck-all ze does for them all. he believes in odd things, rather than worship a dead or deranged god he would rather show his love directly to the nature, to the world, to the biotic matter. he finds it easier to show love to a physical part of the world than to hold onto an idea of someone who may or may not exist anymore.  if he learned one thing today, it would have to be that he can't talk to his mother about anything serious. not only that he physically can't because he's too fucking awkward to be able to explain certain concepts to her, but also that she's quite possibly the biggest transphobic person he's met. she doesn't understand anything about respecting gender, gender identity, or gender presentation. maybe one day she'll learn and it won't send him into tears every time she opens her mouth to make a comment.  <3 <3