distance. in a crowded room it's still so easy to feel far away. no matter what you try to do to make the gap between you and the other people disappear it will always just chill there, trying to screw you over. the distance and loneliness just floods in without warning. it sucks.
right now it seems like there is only one person that can close that gap, and they don't really know just how special they are. they don't know how much I actually respect them and actually feel connected to them. everyone else that I see just is kind of a blur. and the ones I haven't seen for a while it's hard to remember that they are real people.
just want to go run away into the sunset with that someone. we can manage to have a fun time and relax away from all te day to day rush. we could pretend the world is perfect.
there's only one problem: I don't think they want to. they just want to be on the sidelines and chill, not get into some deep bondingness. blarg.
if only stoopid dysphoria would just completely go away. kinda really barking, but not real.
<3 <3
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