Thursday, May 19, 2011

every time I look around.

attacked by the voices. the ones that are real, the ones echoing in my head, my own. they all say I'm nothing. I will never be anything. and there's no place to hide. they keep lashing out, striking me when least expected, pulling me into a state of non-feeling. everything is numb. every touch a little less sharp then it was before, every world makes a little less impact. it's like I'm invinsible on the outside. then looking beyond the skin it's all pain and horror. like a chainsaw hacking away at my heart, acid pouring down my throat, and and my stomach burning alive. the numbness goes away, feeling sets back in. 

ambuzzled: ambushed by the fuzzy blue people in your head. the fuzzies being so entirely hostel. 

every time someone refers to me as male I celebrate inside. just the way I thought it was after being born female.    because face it, it's so much sexier being reffered to as a man.

<3 <3

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