queer. why is it so hard for people to just leave it at that? why must there be so many labels that you have to choose from once you take on queer. why should there be any explination? why do you even need to give that much info?
there is so much emphasis on who's sleeping with who and who thinks what about who that it just isn't worth it to deal with the highschool drama. I'm DONE. no more caring about anything. no more bothering to try and make a good impression. just trying to make a way to feel somewhat forfilled each day. that alone is quite the task.
school work no longer seems to have a meaning. just pointless shit that wastes the time that could be spent on things that are actually productive. this whole day has been a pile of boredom. nothing happens, just the same old boring shit. the highlight of the day is a rehearsal time after school when I can just sit with friends and let the waves of awesomeness just wash up over me. and bug the shit out of dorkwad. because I can.
oddly enough it all leads to sex. like everything in teenage life. it's been over a year, and I don't even know if I miss it. I mean, sex with men... it's kinda like masturbation: you get off and you see genitals but there's no emotion, no love. it doesn't feel like it counts. and girls.. or anyone else that's not a cis-gendered male.... just don't feel the need to even notice me, forget anything physical. FOREVER ALONE!!
international day against homophobia in about an hour. need to get a red glowstick....
<3 <3
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