this is the part where I sit completely confused, not knowing what anything is anymore. real life is getting more and more like fiction each day. what is reality?? there are things I think are real but then thoughts about them contradict themselves so much it confuses me to the point I don't know how I feel about them. stoopid indeciciveness. just once I want to be happy and know that I've made the right decitions. know that I've analyzed something in my life correctly for ONCE.
for the play, blocking finally tomorrow. shit, I guess I should actually figure out how I want it. this could be interesting.
playland. this is brilliant. but why am I picturing it as some perfect day out of a really cheesey sitcom? maybe I don't have a girl to hold close on the more squishy rides. maybe I don't know what I want. maybe I'm trying to figure out what exactly to expect but at the same time trying to expect nothing at all. only problem is, I'm human, I want to have a picture in my head. I want to have someone to win giant teddybears for and tease with bits of cotton candy on their nose or something. so what if I don't have the money out to be physically able to do those type of things. then I just try to warp realitiy into what I want it to be.
reconnected with my azn LG side a little bit.. it was interesting. this is what happens when I get out in Richmond. but still I overall feel manly no matter what. mostly...
need to make it on time so I can actually go and NOT get left behind for shit reasons.
<3 <3
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