you do it to yourself.

he wonders what goes through the minds of the followers, the lovers of christ. he wants to understand how they can aim to live by a book written so long ago. they trust so completely and he just wants to know how they can feel so moved to do so. he's trying to sort out his spirituality, where it will take him, but in his attempts to understand religion, most have told him that homosexuality is a thing that will slowly keep distancing him from being accepted amongst the religious followers. the muslim and jewish he has not explored in great detail, but they seem to be against homosexuality. buddhism in extremes seems to be against romantic love of any kinds, but he can appreciate the love of the animal and living a vegetarian lifestyle. christians and catholics he finds the most troubling, although their god doesn't seems to have a big issue with homosexuality, the followers for the most part have over read the word and spread hate based on old testament bits that have become irrelevant through time. that's why he doesn't want to bind himself to a religion , he doesn't want to over read religion and end up going against it accidentally.

transgender day of rememberance. there are so few that are completely supportive. he dreams of a day where no one cares what sex or gender people are, just accept people as they are. he feels like on such a day he is even more oppressed for showing his pride. there is so little mainstream knowledge about the trans* community that cis-gendered, heterosexuals don't even know what is going on, and almost no one understands that he is under the trans* umbrella. they just want to do their part in being all fucking liberal, but they don't even know how to be understanding, let alone supportive. so he tries to figure out just what exactly will make them learn to that maybe a future without transphobia is somewhere within reach. the victims are growing and it's not acceptable.

maybe he's just fighting between his love and hate for humanity. humans can be horrible, selfish, cold-hearted creatures, but they are built so diverse and beautifully that he can't help but to love them. he's so conflicted that he doesn't know what to do.

<3 <3