waiting for the day he's been looking forward to and he changes his plan at the last minute. for weeks he's been saying he'd do a neglected doll, but with the school haunted house doing a doll theme he needs something different. a bag of spiders catches his eye and ideas start to flood his mind. he plays around with names, finally settling on arachhomobia: queer of spiders. what better than to be an uber queer spider queen? he glues on fake nails and trys to remember how to do things with them in the way.
somehow it's all releasing a feminine side of him. he can't wait for morning to play around with makeup and skirts and such. everything seems like so much more fun for the holiday season. he's waiting for the clock to strike midnight so he cant actually say happy hallowe'en without sounding like a dumbass. queer christmas and he's like a kid unable to sleep on christmas eve. he knows if he's going to make it through the day without falling asleep he needs to get to sleep soon, but things in his head to shut up. he wishes things were easy, that there was time to do things to get ready for the night instead of rushing in the morning. before school.
he wants t give in to himself and just let himself try to feel loved. he wants to melt into someone's arms, no matter how platonic. he really just wants to eat until he can't feel any emotion other than full. he needs to stop caring about the world around, the mess of the city, the hopelessness of the human race. the fence around his heart needs to be rebuilt to withstand the hurricane that is life.
<3 <3
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