love is like getting high. the first time is beautiful and amazing and the rest of your life you end up chasing the high, hoping to have it like the first time. every time after that first time it just doesn't measure up and you get depressed when it's over. he'll spend the rest of his life chasing love and he wil find it, but he doesn't know if he'll ever be IN love again. but he wakes up every morning hoping he'll go out into the world and find the girl who can change everything and remind him what being in love feels like. he'll find her even if it kills him.
it sets in that he really doesn't have a job that much anymore. he knew he had no shift anymore, and that sucks, but he was hoping to pick up some holiday shifts. the thing is, he isn't even getting his employee discount anymore. he misses work, having that little piece of his life where he could feel independent. and having the bit of money coming in was pretty awesome too. having no income again makes him worry about next year, trying to move out, trying t get to a place in his life where he's okay with being himself.
the workload pile grows yet again. he doesn't know if it'll ever stop. he can't even recognize that half the things assigned are going to actually be due, or tests will actually happen. he's fine with doing an essay and some poetry, but the lit and the history test and the in-class essay for the lit part of english and the geo just fuck him over. he wants to just have english (only writing parts) and law for academics and keep the rest with electives. tht'll never happen, so he tries to nap at every point possible so that he can escape everything that is life. escape sounds like the only good plan to get out of highschool anymore. he wishes he had the will to actually try and graduate will amazing grades.
<3 <3
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