24 hours can change everything. he woke up ready to take on the world, daring it to throw whatever at him. he wasn't expecting it to really do so. he wasn't expecting to have to share his final year of highschool at the same school as his mother. he was finally ready to start asking teachers to refrain from using female pronouns for him, now he isn't so sure, he doesn't know if he can still feel at peace in a place overrun by his mother. he wasn't expecting to get off work to see his mother's ex, to have to take that trip into the past and feel everything that has happened all over again. he wasn't expecting to see that slideshow from his brother's funeral after almost three years and still not be able to listen to the song mad world without bawling, especially when seeing his brother's bright blue eyes filling the screen. he wasn't expecting them to get drunk to the point where they were all gropey and sloppy and coupley, to the point where things were too uncomfortable for him to be in the area.
he didn't really mean it when he thought he was ready for anything. nothing like that could've ever been prepared for. then he has to wake up, go to work, and think about them working out together the whole time he's gone. he needs a break, a chance to get away from it all for a few hours. he doesn't know how many tears he has left for the next little while.
everyone seems to have run away. he finds himself alone, one week left of summer, and everyone is gone away or in a couple bubble. mostly everyone. the few who aren't he never seems to be able to get ahold of.
he just wants to nestle into a pile of warm, soft... kittens. he wants to sleep forever, to dream of an alternate universe where everything works out just the way it should. every waking moment ruins that fanatasy of the perfect world. he tries to see all of that in the shit he does every bloody day.
<3 <3
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