fail monday is fail. honestly, who decided that today would be nikki's mom bitches about every little thing nikki does wrong (apparently everything) day??
I wake up and am not get ready fast enough because aparently I'm not superhuman.
I forget she wanted to go get gas RIGHT after school so I make her wait like... 10mins longer. and that's the end of the world.
I don't drive fast enough for her or take enough risks while driving. (which makes me slow, annoying, and stoopid)
I'm too stoopid to remember to take the headlights off.
I can't pump gas by myself without being shown and not ask questions.
I can't hold freaking nexus cards out and window, unroll the window, and drive and still get both nexus cards to scan.
I don't read her mind and take the exact way she wants to get to a parking spot.
I do my homework instead of spending time with her
When I do my homework I take little breaks for facebook so my brain doesn't completely explode. (oh how dare I)
obviously that makes me the most horrible person in the world. and incompetent and immature. just because.
thank you mom, way to make me feel so good about myself.
can't help but think about how she might actually act differently about me if I were straight. she might not hate me so much. might not use every chance she gets to use me as a personal punching bag. she might even let me have a little bit of freedom. but that'll never happen.
apparently a lot of people base others on the way they look. just because when you look at me you see me as female, doesn't mean that I am 100% of the time. I may joke about my weregenderness. (where I turn into a man at night), but in reality I could feel female one day, male the next, and not be quite sure the day after. and then some other day just be.. not feel a definite gender to try and label at all. gender is fluid. it kind of really pisses me off how the world sticks everyone in a gender box.
missing the pit. I miss chilling there with awesome people, having a smoke, and having all the worries float away with each puff. but now it's gone. the people have graduated or turned against me, the school's going to shit, and the weather is just fucked up. besides the fact that I pretty much quit.. besides the odd one here and there.
I really just want to find some girl who lives out here for once. all the hot lesbians I end up talking to live in Alberta, the East coast, the Okanogan, Vacouver Island, or elsewhere really far.. please, just let there be lesbians in this area around my age. PLEASEEE!! I just need a girl to hold and keep safe from the world. to love and give everything she deserves. =P
questions, topics, guessing post title's songs??
email: nikkiasb@hotmail.com
facebook: nikki oreo barnes
of comment.
<3 <3
No comments:
Post a Comment