bitchy dearest is at it again. gunna kill her one of these days. I swear if she doesn't calm the fuck down pretty soon shit is gunna go down. it isn't going to be pretty.
well, maybe it will. depends how the blood splatters.
it's funny how easy it is to see beauty in destruction. a mangled corpse, a charred piece of furniture, a ripped page. the imperfections just make it all the more beautiful. the smell of searing flesh has made my night bearable. the absurdity of the things that make me happy is a little scary. the penetration and push of a needle is like the release of a drug in itself. but only when being watched, just the pain on its own gets a little boring. the spill of blood. the way it flows, finding its own pathway along the skin and creating a crimson splash against the pale white. it brings the little bit of creativity to something so common.
I guess you just have to catch me at a good time, once I've pushed the first layer of emotion away, the one that appears whenever my mother is close by. underneath lies a layer where everything seems so amazing and beautiful and there is only the best in everyone. where I just want to make every bad thing that ever happened in the world, right again. make happiness prevail.
the world still isn't whole though. I miss her.. I find my mind wondering to thoughts of her multiple times a day. I know it's sad. but she really made the bad things disappear so that it was just her that my life became filled with. I wish I could surprise her, sweep her up, off her feet, and kiss her like she's never been kissed before. maybe some day. when the dust settles and there is a hope once again.
having an obsessive lily allen day XD that girl is amazing. and she can actually sing unlike a hell of a lot of the mainstream crap playing 24/7 these days. <3
I wish it could just be the wee hours of the morning forever. between 11pm and 5am is the best time. the streets are so quite and peaceful, the people you meet always have a good life story to tell, the solitude makes everything seem better (or worse, depending on your mood to start with), and nothing really needs to be done, it's all about just surviving in the moment. I love it. that is why I'm a night person. just to see how serene the nighttime is. love walks at like.. 2am
You are not alone. You are walking in the woods. Who are you walking with?
do you even need to ask? she'll always be the one I dream of walking with.
You are walking in the woods. You see an animal. What kind of animal is it?
centaur
What interaction takes place between you and the animal?
we have a good laugh about the past
You walk deeper in the woods. You enter a clearing and before you is your dream house. Describe its size.
just a bit larger than a cabin. cozy enough for two. just the essentials. maybe a little splurge here and there, but not much.
Is your dream house surrounded by a fence?
nope. there would never be anything to discourage visitors
You enter the house. You walk to the dining area and see the dining room table. Describe what you see on and around the table.
there are scraps of paper. each has a piece of unfinished writing or artwork in progress.
You exit the house through the back door. Lying in the grass is a cup. What material is the cup made of?
plastic. it's an ikea cup.
What do you do with the cup?
scoop up a nearby spider and bring it back to its web
You walk to the edge of the property, where you find yourself standing at the edge of a body of water. What type of body of water is it?
the ocean. the waves wash up over my feet.
How will you cross the water?
why would I need to? I like the seclution
time for nikki to go off and do something else...
questions?? topics?? guess post title songs??
email: nikkiasb@hotmail.com
facebook: nikki oreo barnes
or comment
<3 <3
The person who you are walking with is the most important person in your life.
ReplyDeleteThe size of the animal is representative of your perception of the size of your problems.
The severity of the interaction you have with the animal is representative of how you deal with your problems.
(Passive/aggressive) The size of your dream house is representative of the size of your ambition to resolve your problems.
No fence is indicative of an open personality. People are welcome at all times. The presence of a fence indicates a close personality. You'd prefer people not to drop by unannounced.
If your answer did not include food, people, or flowers, then you are generally unhappy.
The durability of the material with which the cup is made of is representative of the perceived durability of your relationship with the person named in number 1. For example, Styrofoam, plastic, and paper are all disposable, Styrofoam, paper and glass are not durable, and metal and plastic are durable.
Your disposition of the cup is representative of your attitude towards the person in number 1.
The size of the body of water is representative of the size of your sexual desire.
How wet you get in crossing the water is indicative of the relative importance of your sex life