has he lost his mind?

he sits alone, the only one awake in a full house. waiting for life to start again. in the somewhat early daylight he sees things in better detail than the cluster of the night before. innocence, so easy to spot, covered in anger and cursing. it's so beautiful, so fragile, it makes him wish he didn't feel in ways that would force him to break it. he looks back on his life, all the stoopid things he's done, the corruption he was brought into in his small town. then he see's her, a city girl, so far from the horny, drunken nights he's lived. he misses that innocence. everything it stands for, all the morals that he could have had to begin with. he doesn't know why he's seeing this now, after months, almost years of knowing the child. suddenly he knows just why he's been able to see her as more than just slogged drone walking the halls, why he's been drawn to their conversations, however small and unintelligible.  a teddy bear holds the greatest comfort in the world. knowing he has something there, something to hold, something to make the scary thought go away, bad memories, overactive imagination. it's all there. the teddy bear holds the key to peace, maybe nobody seems to notice that yet, but he can see it working for him. another weekend, so much to do, be he'd rather just lay down a little while longer and watch her sleep, all defenses down. it's all he can do to keep from going mad. <3 <3