do you want to know a secret?

he can't seem to get his mind away from her, no matter how hard he tries. the more he tries to think of other things, the more he ends up think of her. he goes to do things he enjoys, then he realizes he's thinking about times that she did those things with him or introduced him to things. he jut can't seem to get away. in all actuality, he's pretty okay with that, except he can't seem to grow a backbone, she could do pretty much anything and he'd let her just because he's in such a smitten state. it's killing his attempts at appearing more many, but he can't help the fact that she makes his voice go higher, she makes him want to cuddle and be held and make cutesy pet names and all that jazz. she should be way out of him league, yet he's trying with every fiber in his body to understand her world, see what all the fangirling is all about. he's beginning to trust her judgement more than his own. he doesn't want to give up his own values, but she's making it so easy to agree with every word she says.  he can't thank the world enough for having so many souls he can connect to, so many people who actually give a fuck, even if it doesn't seem like they do sometimes. he wants to thank every last one of his friends for making life a little more bearable. life does quite honestly suck, so he owes them quite a bit. his throat is starting to hate him. it just decides to randomly feel like he swallowed razors, or else like the inside of his throat is coated in a thick layer of blood, still warm and sticky.  <3 <3