travelling through the stars.

9/11 and the whole world is sitting around remembering. he thinks he should join them, then he remembers how the whole thing has been blown way out of proportion by the wars bush started. he can't help but to hold a bit of a grudge against America for the way they've gone on to just support the war like it will actually make a difference. osama's dead and they're still out there fighting. it's all fucked up and nothings being done to stop the madness. the only good thing that's been done is making the 9/11 memorial to give people a place to come and remember. that's all the people could ask for and it's taken 10 years to make that happen. 

every time he watches tv he ends up seeing the fairy tale couples, the ones where the husband brings home the money and the wife can do anything she pleases. they have nothing to worry about, they can just love each other and have children together and grow old together. he wants to be able to have that, but he knows that any attempt he could have would just be a struggle. he knows he'll have a hard enough time trying to figure out how to live off the odd pennies tossed his way when he manages to do something worth doing. apparently the world doesn't pay much for trying to make a difference. trying to support a family would be beyond what he can comprehend at this point. he'll take one day at a time and hope that somehow it'll all pull together. 

going back to school for another week in the morning, he just doesn't feel ready. the halls don't feel the same, they don't have any sense of welcoming whatsoever. he feels like maybe he's grown out of the way the schools feel, that he's done his time and it's time to move on, yet he's stuck for 10 months. if he was born just a month earlier, he would be done with it all. sometimes he likes to imagine what it would be like if the system didn't exist and each person had the freedom to just follow on a path to figure out themselves and choose which bits of education are relevent to their lives. but the world doesn't work like that and the educational system couldn't care less about the needs of the students. 

<3 <3