I ain't coming back.

it's the last night before the end. it should mean more, he should be out celebrating with the rest, he should be home with the people he's been waiting to celebrate with since grade 8. the only problem is he's not. he actually hates the thought of ever going back to school, especially the one where they won't even let him take a psychology course, won't bother to run a shop to have machanics in. walking in those doors the next morning will feel like conformity, submission. he doesn't know if he can do it. every particle of his being is willing to give up the hope of graduating to let his soul be at peace. if he's going to be learning, it should be learning things that pertain to his life, his future, his interests. instead they try to kill hundreds of birds with one stone. it just isn't working. 

the girls are getting drunk, being sluts, dreaming of the dresses they will get to wear throughout the year. the boys try to prove they can drink the most or plan the best prank. then there's him, alone, the only boi. he dreams of a way to escape the whole thing. they all belong, they all want to be part of something every year before them has been. he watches, hoping one day a few of them will come to their senses and forget about all that bullshit. 

thus begins the final year. he doesn't feel a thing. the list of people he's actually getting to graduate with that he wants to keeps getting smaller and smaller. at this point he has to ask himself if he really wants to go through with it. then he realizes how much he hates the school he has to put up with, realizes the only part that makes it bareable is the very few people he can actually talk to. if he's going to make it this year he's going to need to get back to a school he can somewhat care about. here's hoping he lives to see this day a year from now.

<3 <3