cool one more day to pack everything. and we still haven't found a place. if we don't find anything we're moving in with my grandma and grandpa temporarily. dunno if that's good or not. I mean, they spoil me, I'd get actual cooked dinners every night, I'd be super close to one epic person, and not too far from another. except for tunnel in the morning. and having to wake up at the crack of dawn to get to school on time.
this shizz is crazy. just want to find somewhere to just STAY and not have to worry about anything. so I can actually try to do well in school and all that jazz. maybe even start to have low stress levels. even better, manage to get everything under control AND get a girl to make all the work to get school stuff under control and make room for a social life worth it. hehe. but yeahhh not gunna happen. the more places I look at, the less hopeful I am that we'll find something. I just want to sit in a corner and pretend the world around me has dissappeared.
I need more epic friends who actually are part of my life in reality, not just at school or online. people who will be able to just spend time with me and make me feel wanted. people that I can share everything with and we know everything about each other.
on a side note, I pretty much told almost my whole family that I would rather wear a guy's suit than a dress. the response wasn't great, but it felt good just telling them. I don't want there to be secrets. and I don't know how to explain myself completely yet, so that makes it difficult.. what am I??a genderqueer lesboface?? I know I prefer cis-gendered females, some trans-guys, and some trans-girls. I'll pass 99.9% of the time on cis-gendered males. myself, I don't fig into any one gender. I float up and down the scale from completely femmey girl to manly man, and anywhere in between. sometimes completely removing myself and feeling just.... human or a part of the circle of life or something. connected to the world, genderless.
so how would I explain that to my family???
you know what to do...
<3 <3
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