the bits and pieces of a mind no one really knows.. this is the place for my daily rants. almost like a vomit of the mind, except with a little thought put in. if I get bored sometimes I do random lists.. and when I'm really tired I attempt overexhausted poetry. it usually doesn't turn out well...
Monday, January 16, 2012
that all depends what you qualify as friends.
he can't stand the nighttime depression bits he gets. every night for the most part he ends up feeling worthless, lonely, stoopid, and unmotivated. he's tried to get passed it, yet it keeps pounding at him. he's stopped trying to reach those little fuzzy blue people to form a truce, hoping they'll get bored and go away. he doesn't have actual conversations with them anymore, but he can still hear their voices every once in a while, feel them playing with his mind to try and fuck him over. he wishes he had the power to push them out of his life altogether. everytime he goes to feel good about himself it gets to be nighttime and he starts to let his guard down and the attack commences..
if she knew about the fuzzies, she'd call him crazy and leave him well alone. if she knew about his gender (or lack of), she'd fall victim to those moments where you use all the wrong pronouns somewhat on purpose and help to misgender him without trying. as if he didn't have enough to deal with. then, if she knew what he thought about her she'd both be surprised and an egotistical bitch about it all. there's no way away from all that craziness that is emotion, he's just hoping that emotion could someday be shown in a way which they could be each other's emotion.
<3 <3
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