I'd hate to see you go.

sometimes the interwebs aren't a place of endless joys and entertainment. sometimes being online is just reassuring oneself of the fact that no one really notices anything. every once in a while it's just there as a kind of punching bag to let out all the emotion before it kills you. he uses the latter option quite often, forgetting the real world out there in favor of a land where he can sort out his thought far away before he returns to live the bits of life he doesn't mind so much.  everything's telling him to let go, to let her leave his mind completely. he doesn't care that he's bee hinting towards a reason why it would just be too awkward for anything to happen between them, he doesn't care that on so many levels they should just completely hate each other and not bother getting along at all. somehow they manage to have their moments when everything just feels right, so he holds on, hoping maybe in one of those moments something will make things change. he can't find any reason for why he still wants to be a part of everything that is her. despite all the shit he puts up with from her he can't seem to give her up, she can't seem to open her eyes enough to see.  time just keeps moving forward, giving him less and less time to get homework together, his mind to work properly, his heart to calm the fuck down. he just needs the weekend to breathe a little bit and gather himself, catch up to speed. then possibly he'd be okay with life. <3 <3