something is not the same.

today it just kind of hit me. a wave of goodness. I haven't always been the best when it comes to being Eco-friendly and such, but I want to get better. I want to take the extra time for organic and searching for more friendly products. feels like I need to do a cleanse of my life, go through all the junk I've collected and give away all that shit I don't have any use for anymore. declutter my space so I can begin to declutter my life just a little bit. get back in touch with the earth and stop relying on all the physical objects to try to make me happy.
maybe it's just because neutral colours are making me more at ease, and they seem to be almost the only thing that can right now. music, art, and neutral colours.
 
it's almost like this whole person is fighting his way out of me. he just wants to be free to love and spread the love and connect with everything aroud him. he wants peace. he knows that in order to not be just another hypocrite he must be careful not to desturb anyone. he must maintain as much peace in his own life as possible before he can claim to want the world to follow suit. he is one with nature, as much as one can be whilst living amongst society. somewhere along the way, he realized that peace is not realistic in such a greedy world, so he dedicated his life to fighting the man. he protests the pointlessness of an uneducated, overpowering government. he wants to be one to make a difference and help provide the world with a sense of peace, but all he knows how to do is create the scenes he wishes to achieve in his sketches, create pieces to make people think before they act, and think about why they should act. he sits alone, writing about the world as he hopes it may one day become, dreaming like many others before him. he weaves another hemp bracelet to try to make some money to eat that day. nobody sees him for the fighter he really is. they call him an addict and they call him crazy, but never would they call him brilliant. he leads the marches, fuels the fight, and speaks for the voices that never get heard. he wants to bring the best. all he gets in return is a beating, an empty stomache, and a defeat, larger than the one before. he lives inside of me, waiting to come out, clawing his way into this world.
first I must prepare the body for the amount of work it will need to perform, for the duty of becoming this man. 
and then my other sides emerge as well. the balance more difficult to find than most. the dillema.

<3 <3