how do you say goodbye to everything you've known?

snakes. I love them ever so dearly. my mommy knows this so she decided we should go to the nature park for reptile day stuff. ended up holding at least 8 different snakes, four of which went up my arm, on my shoulder, or around my neck. I loved every moment of it. I love how the snakes were free enough to roam around all over people, how they all seemed to love me, how it feels as the different sized snakes slither across your flesh. everything about those little fuckers I just absolutely love, except for what they eat. if they were vegitarians they would be the perfect animal. their skins have the perfect amount of colour and shine, and their tongues just slightly tickle when they hit a sensitive spot (like my neck). they feel so powerful, yet they just work with me to intertwine themselves with me so we can become one. being that beautiful, I just want to have one and pour a bunch of my affection into it. something to keep me from hating everything when I'm at home with my mother, something for me to be able to protect and feel like I have a purpose. something soft to just love and talk to when everyone actually has a life. 

funniest part is that one of the snakes that absolutely loved me was named Helen. this is the one that just wanted to roam my shoulders, neck, back, everywhere. she was a freaking beautiful snake. one of the longer ones, but not heavy enough to really realize you had a snake on you. honestly, I wish I could take her home so we could become better friends. I'd want to bring her with me everywhere, just chilling like a scarf. I doubt that she'd actually stay still enough to do that though. bummer. 

I wish I could write some beautiful piece to make everything I feel be heard, but I've never been much good for explaining my feelings, even if they are written. the right words just seem to escape me. maybe if I tried in the daytime and could actually concentrate on writing instead of a million other things, but that really is a lot of maybe. although I do have quite a fair bit of time to myself in the next few weeks, so maybe I can do this. there's a few little projects I might want to try before you get back...

<3 <3