if I knew what I was missing.

he gets so caught up in the world, the objects and people around him, that sometimes he forgets to live his own life. he's caught himself sitting back and watching far too many times to count. he prides himself in being a people-watcher. in crowds that never seem to end, he can always pick out a few interesting people going about doing things that others would not think of doing if their lives depended on it. he can find his way into their past in ways that may or may not be true. although lately he's had a curse, he sees them going about life and realizes he needs that, he needs interactions with people who care about him in more ways than just the words they speak. he needs to find acceptance in a world with more things wrong with it every passing day. he needs to go back to being more than just a watcher. all around him the people he knows are figuring out their lives, following thee paths, soaring to achieve their dreams. he almost thinks he'll be left behind, not having the grades, the skills, the will to follow such a grueling path. one day he think he might wake up from under the trees the roam the streets, carrying all the world's judgement upon his shoulders, just to feel like he did something right. he wants to take a stand, start a fight, create things that will leave a positive impact on humanity for generations to come, but to impact anyone he'll have to endure the torture of fame, no matter how small the fandom. that scares him more than anything.  <3 <3