crying like church on Monday.

two night of being onstage. the last two of his high school career. he should've felt something, like something was breaking inside. just some sort of sadness. instead he feels relief; he's done dealing with izdebski. he can go on to let his creativity take over in his future endeavors. he can write and shape worlds unimagined. he can choose when he feels comfortable on the performing side and when he would prefer to just stay behind the scenes, creating. he has the freedom to choose.  a day being silent while others dismiss his cause, taunting him in attempt to make him speak. it gets quite difficult, he wants to lose faith. then near the end when he's feeling discouraged, he gets a second wind from a teacher who thanks him for doing it, being the sole student that stands up against all the bullying. he knows after that just how much he affects the school in doing so. that moment regains his trust in humanity.  spring is his favorite season, the only downside is just how much his allergies act up during the season. he can't breathe, can't function, can't do much of anything. sometimes he wants to just claw out his eyes and be done with it all. that would make it so much easier to live through the season. the worst part is being allergic to the beautiful bits he loves.  <3 <3