famineee. ohh ehmm jesus cupcakeees. honestly, my school is FAILLLLLLLLLL. they made us eat cereal out of PLASTIC CUPS! because they couldn't afford to get bowls. *facepalm* and then the buns, holy fucktits. they had these 'buns' that were really just loaves of bread that people were eating whole. WHATT IS THIS FUCKKKERYYY???
really made me realize how much I miss my old school. I mean, I knew I had it good, but I didn't realize how much better my school was until I left. there is NOTHING good about this school except a few cool people. *sob*
monday is coming closer and closer. which means have to go back to that shithole. get to go back to having a theatre the size of a normal classroom, classes that make me miserable, and people that I still try to hold back around. there's just so much at once and not having a safe place just makes it impossible. apparently my old town is going to be like a city now.. getting an actual mall and expanding towards the rez.. rawr. I miss everything. *hides in a hole and feels sorry for self*
yeah I'm going back into my whole little hate everything phase. because school makes me depressed and now I'll have more stress and less time to deal with everything with rehearsals for the one act I wrote... and girls are just... depression waiting to happen. honestly, are they all just waiting for you to fall in love with them so they can tear your heart out? fucking manipulative, mind-fucking bitches.
love should be enough to make it work. if you really love someone you should see past all the imperfections and just do everything in your power to be with them. so what if there's little things in their personality that annoy you a little? if you love them just work with it and cherish every moment of happiness. because that's what people do when they love each other. they don't just give up and remove the person from their life. that's just fucking heartless and stoopid. not that I'm trying to attack her, it's just that I'm fucking sick of this. it's been almost 4 months. I've tried so many different ways of trying to reach out, I've tried to work it out, but I'm not even really sure what it's about completely anymore. I know what happened when she freaked out, but that couldn't have been it, so what is it really all about? why does my heart always feel like it's having the life squeezed out of it like someone's trying to make orange juice but decided to use my heart instead. rawrrrr.
is it sad that I'm sorry for even thinking anything bad about her? listening to marry you-bruno mars. just want to send/ dedicate it to her. she's the only one I'd ever considered or even pictured getting married to. I'd never even pictured having a wedding before I met her...
anyways, unless you want more whining and sap send me some shizz to talk about.
and guess the songs from my post titles.
email: nikkiasb@hotmail.com
facebook: nikki oreo barnes
tumblr: nikkioreo
or comment below.
<3 <3
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