I really don't think I'm strong enough.

so I kinda just want to start over. with everything. shave my head, pumice stone my skin off, have a clean slate with everything: friends, school, life, GIRLS!! yeah... or really, mainly myself. the most wonderful thing in the world would be to be able to start my relationship with myself over. honestly, we've had such a hate-hate thing going on, myself and I. that really needs to change... maybe that could be part of my whole fucking up everythingness. if I'm gunna be cheesy I could go on about how you have to love yourself to love other people and all that bullshit but I won't, because I'm nice.

school... tomorrow. go away. really haven't started studying for any of my tests or done most of my homework. I did a bit. but that's cause it's an incentive class and I'm worst in the class already because of that. yeah. fuckkkk. who's bloody brilliant idea was it that I have to work my ass off to keep from failing gr.11 when I have about.. zero motivation and only a tiny amount of an attention span (only for the things I WANT to do of course). shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit. I'm gunna have to make shit out of straws this week.. *shoots self* and tests. but I get to watch FIGHT CLUB in english. so that's cool. might have to stop by the art room after school and try to chill with mr.bone for awhile and laugh at bitchface behind her back or something. =P

gahhhr. been fighting with my hair all day. want the blonde GONEEE!! as in go die in a hole and never come back. my roots are freaking longer than the blonde. what the tits??? time for chop chop. totally wanna go for a like.. faux hawk type thing with the little emo tail thingies in front of ears. you know what I'm talking about. I hope. just go google emo haircuts... prolly for boys. and you'll see what I mean. or look at your scene slut friends' pictures from when they had mullets. cause you know they all have at some point.. wooow. I feel like a horrible person.. sorry. just don't like people who call my cumdumpsters everytime they see me... I mean JEEBUS, I was trying to figure stuff out, so I slept around a bit. I WAS CONFUSED. now I'm better. I LIKE GIRLS!!! yes, I get that now. boys were a cover up for me to hide from myself. yeupppp. glad that's all sorted out.

anyways.. pce

<3 <3