you can't ever take the sky.

he's been so distracted by life and trying to figure out schedules for school and work at two different establishments and when his mother has planned. he's quite drained just from all the planning, not even the actual events. there's no time these days for him to make trips into tsawwassen to see his other half it seems, he's trying, it just doesn't feel like he's trying hard enough. the long breaks between the brief moments aren't enough to keep him from missing her so much that it hurts. his stomach keeps churning, his headaches more frequent, his energy levels are far lower than when he can see her. every bit just seems so much worse without her in his day every day. he's trying to break through to her, learn the little bits that make her who she is, why it's so deeply disturbing to her that he find her so beautiful. he's trying not to tear up at the thought of her having any pain, especially caused intentionally by others. he just wants to protect her, but first he needs to learn her monsters, learn what he's up against, learn how to get her to trust him enough to let him in. to be fair, he's having a hard time just getting out the three little words that keep his heart rate at an elevated pace, the one's that it's killing him keeping them inside, but he wants their escape to be prefect. he wants the moment to be right, the world to change, everything to be in just the right place. he wants her to know just how much he means it, how he isn't throwing it around like the rest of the teenage population. he wants to be able to take a deep breath and tell the world that he loves her.  <3 <3