in the aftermath.

everyone's raging about the whole gaga/jo thing. honestly, it's refreshing to see someone who claims to stand for something go through with it. with born this way gaga had a lot to live up to being the queen of the lgbt community. now that there's Jo in the picuture, gaga has that bi-gendered edge to speak right into the heart of minorities. people should respect gaga so much more now that she's bringing lesser know minorities into Hollywood, even if it does end up being just a show to get attention, at least there is some hope of acceptance  in the future if the mainstream is introduced to more variations of gender. now just keeping it up so that people will lose the shock and accept bi-gendered as a legit gender identity. here's hoping for a brighter future.

he starts to think back, trying to see the signs. does it fit that their last kiss was at a bus stop, a place where people stop before heading off in all different directions? he keeps running over that afternoon again and again. they were happy, safe from reality for just a few hours before returning to the real world. he takes a deep breath to stop the image. he has to fight the urge to wonder what he could've done differently, but then it hits him. he realizes that in a way he should be thanking her, he would've just tried to draw out every last bit of life and leave it to the point where there would be no possible way to salvage any bit of a friendship from the wreckage. in a way she saved things. nothing lasts forever, especially not when you're 16 or 17. he should know better. it's just that sometimes the overwhelming urge to feel someone else's flesh beneath his fingertips, to feel wanted and loved, gets the best of him. he finds it impossible to really connect with someone without some form of physical touch so he learns to crave it. that leads to dangerous things sometimes.

there are times he feels that he completely clears himself of emotions, where he seems almost robotic. other times his emotions are too big for his tiny frame. it would be nice if he had a middle ground, some place where he could have average emotions all the time intead of the rise and fall. the amount of emotion also tends to go with the amount of physical touch. the more he can connect with people, the more he can feel emotions, without that touch he loses the ability to really feel much of anything at all, until a breaking point when it all boils over and he feels everything at once, only the most horrible of emotions. he just needs to keep connected to people on a constant basic to keep grounded. 

<3 <3