and she believed that nobody noticed that she felt like this.

he gets forced into the girl box. he gets tormented into another photoshoot. he has his masculinity stripped from him as he is forced to don a dress, even for a moment. his confidence is shattered. he gives in and plays the part. he puts on his mask, fills in his somewhat- invisible eyebrows, sticks on an actual bra (as opposed to his normal sports bra), and flirts and twirls for the camera. he hopes the bitch gets the photos she was looking for, because it killed him enough to go through with it. he can't wait until he hits 18 and can start to make his own decisions. he can't wait to have enough of a disposable income to at least do some drag makeup and buy a proper binder. 
he gets to that moment where the small talk with the photographer turns personal. "so do you have a boyfriend?" asks the photographer. "GIRLfriend" he replies. he quickly tries to change the topic, not bothering to clear up that it is his modeling that is off and on, not his relationship. he regrets it, like he doesn't care about her enough. although at the time he just wanted to keep shooting without crying. he misses her. explaining how fantastic she is to a stranger would surely bring a few more tears than headshots require. the photographer doesn't drop it, the rest of the session there are random moments of mentioning the girlfriend, like the photographer wanted to see deeper into his soul. he refused to crack. that night he comes home with one last hope for the day that he'll find some kind of non-technological form of a sign that she'll be back somewhat soon.

the hospital is nearly deserted. only a few staff members litter the hallways. they make their way to the sixth floor. when they finally find the room, they enter to fighting. the whole time they're there, there is fighting between the sisters. they're all scared to lose their mother, in a way they've lost her already, so they get angry and blame each other. they're so scared that they can't stay in the room with her weakening body, they just yell at her, at each other. it's not a good enviroment for anyone. he sits in the corner, observing. he wants to reach out but he doesn't know how. the only way he can make things the least bit better is by exchanging smiles and laughter from across the room. they read each other's eyes and share moments. there may be a warzone in  between them, but they share and the world seems a little less cruel. before he leaves, she calls him to her bedside; she tells him she'll see him tomorrow. he'll hold her to that promise. no one knows how much longer she'll hold on for, but she promised at least until tomorrow. once she's gone, he'll break apart from the family. they've done nothing but attack him, if it weren't for her, or for his education, he'd be long gone by now, somewhere far away where yet couldn't reach him. she keeps him from completely giving over to insanity. the tears bubble up every time he realizes that at any moment he could lose her. he shivers. he loves her, soft, frail flesh and all. 

<3 <3