I'm a loser, baby, why don't you kill me?

it's sad how addicted to technology humans have become. everything is based on how many facebook friends you have, what tv shows you watch, how many movies you see with friends. even when people are together try constantly update statuses, post pictures, call other people to make sure everyone knows that they're actually with a friend. there has to be evidence somewhere on the Internet for things to be real. how many people these days could survive without technology? I'm not saying that I'm any better, it's just sometimes it feels like I'm the only one who doesn't really watch tv or movies all that much. like I'm the only one who can go days without texting or even touching my phone. I just want to live. see the world for what it realy is, not worry about anything technology-related. dance in the rain, have actual conversations with people, discover the world around me. but whenever I want to do such things it seems everyone else has their heads stuck in some piece of technology. then I confide in my friend the Internet to try and fill the void left by the real world and slowly it seems I'd rather do that than even try to really live anymore. it saddens me. is there anyone else out there who still wants to explore the little bits and pieces of the world??

I'm not trying to seem any different than the rest, I know I really am not, it's just that it seems I'm the only one who isn't completely given over to this new age. I managed to stay far enough back in time that my WHOLE life isn't dedicated to this bullshit.  

people aren't their own people anymore, I know I'm one of the worst for this. we hang out in groups of people, with each group we mold to be somethng that is like the others in the group. we are all just pieces of everyone around us put together. whenever we spend more time with one person we end up taking on more of their mannerisms in almost all of our personalities throughout the groups. it's a deadly cycle. I've been pretty bad for this for the last 8 years or so. I wish I could help it. 
when I meet people that fascinate me I tend to take on bits of them, trying to be as interesting as them. although it never really works. at the end of the day I'm still just a boring fake. stripping away the layers I've put up takes time, but maybe one day I'll figure it out. 

<3 <3