every day I see my dream.

more than anything he wants people to look at him and see him as the personification of the word faggot. not in a bad way, well maybe a little, but just queer enough that he could pass as a definite male-bodied poof with extremely feminine tastes. he wants every muscle, bone structure, curve, and stubble growth as a cis-male. he wants the pronouns and the acknowledgement as what he is. he wants to be able to wear skirts and make-up and still have everyone in the room know that under the not-so-hiding disguise is a physical male. he wants to be that really bad image the trans* community is given of a not-passing drag queen that looks like she's playing dress-up, except with the will to claim a male identity with the feminine presentation. he knows that the world would never understand, that it's difficult for even people of the community to accept such an off-the-wall gender expression.  he's ready to sleep for months, ready to just let everything wash up over him. he's not ready to go back to a scheduled lifestyle where he has to learn about things someone else chooses for him on subjects he doesn't completely want to be there for. he sits through classes of just hearing about every boring detail, never getting to the parts he signed up for the course for. he's too tired to keep seeing any part of anything. farewell, spring break. <3 <3