his best friends are so far away. it's only a 30min car ride, but that distance makes life suck. one of them got a mohawk and he doesn't even know when he'll get out to go see it. the other he hasn't seen since before the beardyness. he misses them, wants to spend a lifetime just being with them. he wants to just get rid of this thing called life and reality and just go live with his best friends and some other people in a forest. just have good times and nature parties and long talks about nothing in particular for the rest of his time on Earth.
most people have figured out part of their future by now. the only things about his future he knows are that he is expected to graduate and he'll be moving out as soon as he can. job-wise he doesn't have a clue what he'd have enough motivation to do. fuck, he's never pictured the long-term future before and he has no intention on doing so any time. he feels so unprepared for everything. teachers strike doesn't help the fact that nothing feels fucking real and he can't seem to get his shit together for long enough to do anything. it would help him so much if he could feel anything about the time passing besides confused, if he could feel himself growing knowledge and maturing. things never work out in an easy way though. he doesn't understand the things that are life.
he can't understand the conciquence of not getting things done because it feels like every time he blinks his eyes a few days go past. the days go by too fucking quickly and it confuses him endlessly and makes it so that nothing at all makes any sense. almost like he's in an alternate universe. he's falling endlessly through space.
<3 <3
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