a part-time friend and a full-time lover.

thanksgiving. really, what he's most thankful for is having the two best friends a boi could ever have, and of course the fact that he can look back on all the memories and remember that for a brief moment he was able to make her happy. because happy is really all that matters and if you wait to be happy later you won't understand how to enjoy it at all. you need to be happy and do whatever it takes to be happy, whatever path it takes to get to happy. he has a hard time trying to figure out what exactly happy is for him, but he knows that it won't be something that his family likes. he knows it will be something based on just living and not worrying about money. he knows that in order for him to really be happy, he has to give himself over to the world and fall in love with everything as if a baby opening its eyes for the very first time.  he needs to fall head-over-heels in love with the world, the people, everything in order to bring back a sense of normalcy. every second wasted trying to find a way to get away from all of the madness is time that could be spent a little closer to happy. a little closer to knowing what the world is all about. maybe what he really needs is to get out there to try and survive by himself so that he can figure it all out. he needs for it to really hit home that this is it, that the outside world is starting in mere months.  he needs to think rationally, try to figure out his finances, decide between what he does and doesn't need so that it won't be difficult trying to bring everything when he gets away. there's so much he needs to sort through, so much that he needs to get out of the way. he needs the time to figure it all out, but the clock's running out. he panics, trying to come to some great conclution. he doesn't. so he pretends things will turn out and he'll manage something beautiful.  <3 <3