he tries to remember how to keep on going after reaching the end of all that exists in his world. things seem so different just like a thousand times before, yet he can't even manage to sort out how he feels anymore. he's waiting to stop having feelings that should've been gone by now, instead he's just feeling the full effects now, what seems like all these months later even when in reality it's almost two. he doesn't understand why things were the way they were and now he can't understand why they're the way they are now.
every now and then he still reads her letters and postcards, lets it take him back to a time when things seemed a lot more simple. he lets the beats wash over him and every love song has him thinking back. he can't remember how many times he's asked himself what he did or didn't do. some mysteries were never meant to be solved. so he drives himself insane trying to chase bits of life that never could be and returns at the end of the day with his heart broken and bruised. he hides to lick his wounds and suffer on his own, only appearing with dry eyes and spontaneous smiles. some things can't be fixed with superglue no matter how hard he tries. he's chained to the things that hurt the most and there is no key to unlock him.
<3 <3
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