weddings... hmms.
so I never really thought I'd ever get married, don't even like the idea of marriage. a piece of paper to prove to the world you love someone, when you can love them just as much without it. plus, it forces them to be with you, instead of them just wanting to. not to mention all the stress and money straining the relationship to put it on..
then there was this girl, and she made me fall head over heels for her. I thought that if she felt she needed to have a wedding, we could get married. I actually kind of wanted to myself. I could picture her dark hair piled beautifully, for once not being attracted to her mouth, standing out against the pale white of her skin, her simple, lacey gown. her dad walking her down the isle, giving her away to me, approving. who cares if that wasn't the reality. I could picture holding her hand, telling her I'd love her forever, slipping that ring on her finger, kissing her. there is nothing that could give me more joy. but she wouldn't even let me make her mine. she won't even let me know that she has gotten any of my many messages. I have no clue if she's ok, if her world is in chaos, if she's even alive. she won't let me. the moments we do stoopid things are the moments that those things wouldn't be tolerated. yet we do them involentarily..
today, the dragon chased me, I didn't chase the dragon. and that's scary as shit. except when you have your best friend and you know that as long as they're there and that means that nothing can really harm you. one of those friends where you wish you could spend all your time with them, 24/7
superbowl tomorrow. more importantly, announcing fresh meat on teams and putting up the plans for beaverbunch channel makeover.. and driving lesson.
found a lacrosse/ hockey box a couple blocks down the road for when the weather let's me go out skating again. I missed it, and now I can finally go. soon :)
guess what songs my post titles are from???
<3 <3
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