islandness.

so tired of getting lost in some fucking stoopid town. all I want to do is explore what's around, but no, instead all we've done is sit around looking for passes so we can do a bunch of pointless touristy things that are just not worth it for me. I don't want to do any of them, yet I'm getting dragged into it and I have to pay my own way through and spend most of my money. I know 'christmas' is supposed to be the time of giving, but every year since I was little I've been depending on the money I get then to last me through the year, get me food, be able to actually go out places with my friends, get the ones I love little presents. this year I don't know if I'll even be able to afford to be able to get back to my friends enough for them to remember I exist. so I'm stuck in limbo, the world between the living and the dead. 

then, walking down the street some random guy commented on my rainbowness. then proceeded to give me a rainbow wristband. with the smirnoff symbol. it kinda made my day. then I decided best thing to fit into my suitcase for friends. those of you who want to get leid, let me know. XD oh the fun of Hawaii.

I think I might actually be able to get through this. but then again, everywhere I go I think of her. well, that's about all I can really think about most of the time..... fuckkkk. I'm kinda fucked.

<3 <3