and your mom's not home.

he's trying to keep calm, to deal with everything at once. he's trying so hard not to screw anything up that he feels it all slipping through his fingers slowly. he can't help but to want to fix it all up to be perfect. there's so much in life he knows that he'll never end up making perfect, although he still can't accept anything less as quality effort. he can try and try for a lifetime, but if it doesn't ever turn out perfect he wouldn't even know what to do with himself. of all the ways to have things done, he chooses the hardest.  nothing seems to stop or break for any time at all. all of his life is going on full speed ahead, homework, projects, social life, post-secondary, drama, clubs, family, his need to write, ideas for art, trying to keep reading as much as he can. it's all things that he has happening, happening all at once. his knees are starting to buckle with the load, the weekend acting as a crutch to get him through to the next major break. he can hold on with the thought that next weekend is a three-day weekend, a weekend of rachel's birthday and Sherlock Vancouver meetup. he can drag himself through one more week if he keeps on thinking that. four days, after a two day rest, valentine's day being one of those days. he's almost ready to make things happen. he's in the process of working on ideas to make it all as smooth as can be. it could be the worst day ever, or one of the vest days of his life. he wot know until only arrives.  <3 <3