images of broken light.

he closes his eyes, opens his heart, and tries to let the present take control instead of the past. he tries, he really fucking tries, but at the end of the day all he has to show for it is a bruised heart and no motivation. he tries to let the new take over the mental space he has thinking about the past, but it shoots him down like a bird in the sky, clinging on for those last few seconds before death. he starts to cry out for help, for an answer to the unspoken questions racking his brain. there is always at least once last drop of unspoken conversation in the past, the drop that he's not willing to let go of all that easily. he just can't do it much longer. each last drop left hanging becomes a piece of himself given away until there is nothing. nothing to show for it all. he rather enjoys a challenge, even if it is the only thing keeping him interested. although he hopes that there is some way that it is something more than just another meaningless chase. he's begging to be shot before he scan embarrass himself much more. everything just seems to be conspiring to male his emotions do things that he doesn't know how to control, doesn't even know what they are. emotions are piling up one on top of another to the point he can't even seem to see straight. not that anything in his life could be described as straight.  <3 <3