sometimes things are piling up and there's no energy to put into any of it. he knows that he really should get on with writing essays, making study guides, putting together projects, memorizing lines, writing newspaper articles and such. none of it really means much to him anymore with the amount of emotion for the holiday pouring through him. he gets excited by everything that happens around him and his attention span and motivation for anything else seems to completely disappear. the only school-based thing he can do anything for without losing track every 5 seconds is a law project on serial killers. he finds the murder and death fucking fascinating. the worst part is how he can relate to the psychotic mind in many, many ways.
he can't sleep. he knows he has to be up before 6 to be at school at 7am, but he can't seem to be tired. he doesn't know if he can do it, mornings being his enemy when it's still dark when he rises. the day ahead has him wanting to jump up and down. he finds more enjoyment in blood, gore, and scaring the shit out of people than almost anything else in life. depending on the amounts, possibly more than he enjoys girl-watching. he doesn't know if it has anything to do with his masochism or slightly sadistic tendencies.
everyone's turning to him, expecting all sorts of great things and it scares him more than a little bit. he doesn't quite know if he can really deliver in the way they're all expecting. he doesn't know what they're thinking he'll be capable of. although he doesn't think there will be time for everyone's makeup at all, but he can work in staggered shifts throughout the day for different shifts of people. he will have to fight every single perfectionistic cell in his body to keep to a schedule. time deadlines never worked well with him because of them.
<3 <3
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