can't wait to be your man.

the holiday is in full swing. saturday night and he's all alone, writing an essay. the rest of the world seems to be out at halloween parties but he just has too much fucking homework to go anywhere. the only place he can go is to the dollar store to pick things up for his project... maybe a couple things for his costume. he feels like he's missing out on the only thing that makes his life hold together right now. even if he has to miss out on being invited to halloween parties (cause it's not like he's ever been invited to any) it would be nice to kick it occupy style and actually be allowed to go for once before the protesting in vancouver gets more complicated and has to find ways to get around not having a place to be.

his halloween celebrations will consist of learning about BTK's murders. he knows the basics, but every detail possible would be nice to have. somehow Law is one of the few subjects he's ever REALLY cared about. honestly, this is the highest mark for ana cademic class he ever remembers getting. he doesn't know what happened, but he hopes he can keep it up. the part that doesn't make any sense is that he hates governments with practically every particle of his being, yet law is pretty much his best subject. he got in the top 5 for the test a lot of people didn't do well on. fuck, he's getting a higher mark than the socials nerd and that's all that matters.

this time last year he had a life. he went to a haunted house and had friends over to watch psycho. this year his life is homework and nothing has the same thrill anymore. the world has gotten that much more real, fantasies leaving his mind completely. he realizes that some things need to get done and that sometimes sacrifices have to be made to make that happen. he feels like he's giving it all and things aren't getting any easier. maybe they aren't supposed to. he thinks there should be some sort of drug that makes it so he won't go into a rage of everything being stressful.

there's this one part of him that wants to just close his eyes and not have to worry about all the bullshit that is life. he wishes he was a bear preparing to go into hibernation for the winter. that way there would be food around for him to eat when he's hungry instead of justlittle scraps that aren't enough to tide him over. the best part of his weekend will be going to get food. the empty fridge and freezer are killing him slowly. he can't wait for meals that will actually fill him up (despite the teenage boi always being hungry thing.)

<3 <3