he might be almost ready to take down the masks. it wears him out having to put up this idea other people think of him as. he just wants to come clean, let people know so they can stop judging him as a cis-gendered, straight female. he wants people to know what he is so he can't stop with the constant sexual jokes, the constant trying to be as manly as possible, the trying to hold up a macho front. he has his girly side, he has his manly side, sometimes they are one. especially when it comes to sex and sexuality, he doesn't really care about hot, lesbian sex, he just wants to cuddle. he tries to make himself seem like a testosterone-fueled engergizer bunny, but sex isn't all that's imprtant. maybe if they would just see him for him instead of her it wouldn't be as big a deal. he could be free to have his little commitmentphobic moments and still just want simple, meaningful physical contact instead of full-blown hormonefests and sexcapades.
after being dragged to more 'adult' parties than he cares to remember he has managed to realize just how much more fun a night of 80s trivia and such with a bunch of people of a generation older is than a drunken bitchoff with the idiots his own age. there is so much more substance with people who have lived a little. he realizes just how much he can't wait to be out of high school so he can just join the world where people actually do meaningful things instead of bullshit kids do. he can't wait to get away from dumbasses that don't have enough braincells to have any prolonged conversations about non drug-related things. it will be a glorious day.
<3 <3
No comments:
Post a Comment