I go to tsawwassen and then in a matter of hours they have me turned into another person. someone I thought I'd got away from being. I've managed to get my nails painted with patterny girliness, watch the qwanoes video from camp like.. 5 years ago, and remember pretty much all the actions to all the songs. what is this?
there's this one side fighting to stay away from this whole side of myself. it just wants to be without dealing wit any of that shit. but then there's that side that just wants to give in.
fuckk. maybe it's just easier to just stay in one world instead of trying to fit in the middle of the two. it just hurts too much trying to go between all these groups of friends in differnet places. there's only so many different people I can be. and when I'm trying to figure out who the fuck I am without all the masks it doesn't help.
I don't understand digimon. honestly, what the flying fuck? maybe if I watched the actual tv show, but from the movie I'm completely lost. everything moves way too fast and everything's way too cheesey to be normal. plus they screw up the actual Japanese versions.
too tired. curl up in ball. die a little bit. wonder how the fuck I ended up being friends with these people, wish I could just relive a couple hours over and over and make them last forever. it would be glorious. but that's not gunna happen, so off to dream about it??
<3 <3
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