I don't wanna miss one kiss.

he keeps telling himself it's okay, he can do it. he's just having issues dealing with missing out on what seems like everything. the fact that he has to lie to be allowed to do anything is rather pathetic. the fact that he's almost 19 and his mother wants him to make his 15(almost16)-year-old girlfriend go out of her way and be alone at night from Richmond to Tsawwassen when he has a far less chance of anything happening to him makes him sick. he can't deal with the amount of sheltering that is trying to be put over him when he's seen the pits of hell and he's danced with devils his mother's never even dreamed of. he needs out, he needs to stick his baby toe out to find his footing in the real world. he's trying so hard to be strong for his baby, but he's crumbling, he's failing every time he realizes how much time he misses with her, how many more memories they could have if he could just have a flexibility in his freedom. it's eating away at him how it's him fault because he was a terrible child and is being punished for that. it's his fault for being born. it's his fault for having a mother who is so innocent to the ways of the world.  <3 <3