why was I the last to know?

he feels a little awkward when away from home. when he's in any other residence than the one he currently resides in (even his grandparents' where he's known his whole life) and he stays overnight he has this feeling that things are not right. even the first couple months in a new residence. he just needs time to adjust to a new routine, getting used to the shape of a new bathroom, the firmness of a different bed,  the temperature of the air around him. he can't rest easily unless he knows that he is in the same place as his few possessions he REALLY cares about. if things are too different than the way they are at his residence he can't focus on sleeping, can't settle into his skin. even if the window is on the wrong side of the bed. this is why at sleepovers he is usually the last one to fall asleep and one of the first to wake up. he can't stand being in a place without knowing how to interact with his environment effectively. there are a couple things that help him to loosen up, animals that he can pet and feel their heartbeat to help calm him down, and cuddling with people he can trust for the most part.  his other big quirk is his ability to overthink everything. someone grabs his hand, holds him close and he thinks they want into his heart. if they are silent over text or interwebs he automatically thinks the worst, that he's said something completely off, or they have no interest in ever speaking to him again. most of all he overlooks what people's words say, relying on the vibes he gets from them and the way things are stated on profiles online. he tends to think people would never accept him for who he is before he even gives them a chance to know. people generally scare him, he prefers the company of British television characters and books, although with the whole world being quite a social place he tends to interact with many people, using his not giving a fuck what people think to project the things he thinks in his heart into his speech. it gives off the impression that he can communicate with others at ease, masking the torture it builds inside. then there's also the fact that he can't miss out on anything. he wants to know it all, can't stand being the only one without knowledge. he's spent entire nights awake just so that he wouldn't be left out of inside jokes or stories. he's paranoid that every laugh he isn't in on is aimed at him. if he misses out on something he can't handle it, it gets to the point people get pissed off at him for always being there. he doesn't understand when the line has been crossed into knowing too much. as far as he's concerned there is no such thing as knowing too much.  <3 <3