we're knocking on heaven's door.

he almost feels as if he is living a lie. he lives amongst the geeks, the dorks, the socially awkward. he shares their awkwardness and tendencies to not know how to deal with things, but he doesn't know the first thing about how to be them. he never watched the same shows growing up, never had access to all the characters and memories they did. he was brainwashed into thinking there was not much other than top 40 music, chick flicks, barbies, and public library books. the closest thing to a super hero comic book he's ever owned was a powerpuff girls book. his friends are going to see movies of marvel brought to the screen, loving every moment of their childhoods coming alive while he's just trying to get his homework done. they're managing to juggle about 10 dorky tv shows while he's lucky if he can catch glee, 2 broke girls, and lost girl. somehow they have time to watch hundreds of exciting movies when they come out while he's only even heard of a few of them. the worst part is that it's not even because he has more of a life, because he doesn't, but because he has so little access to the world outside. beyond his place of residence and school and work he really doesn't go anywhere. even when he does it is just for a tiny break before going back to the emotional wreck of an overprotective home. the place that has forced him into being socially stunted.  the claws needs to be taken out of his skin, he needs to be let go a little and left to breathe so that he can manage to make it through at least these next few months. he can make it, if he's left alone to let his wounds heal before being punctured all over again. <3 <3