don't say that you loved me.

he hates himself for the shit he feels. he manages to feel all the emotions at once, feel what he feels for everyone all at one time. it's draining him, he needs a break.  every time he tries to do anything he gets stopped by the fact that there's a girl behind every thought, a girl he'd love to get behind. he can't even control himself, he's tried to tell himself no, this one's out of bounds. he won't listen. so then he's off trying to be okay every time she mentions the many, many celebrity men that she currently has crushes on. the thing they almost all seem to have in common is the slightly bearish qualities. he doesn't come close to even scraping that category. he wishes he could just be enough for her. there is no way to tell exactly where they stand when sometimes the sexual tension is so high it's impossible that they aren't attached at the face, while other times it's as if they can barely manage to be friends. he's trying to make it as obvious as possible, not that she seems to be noticing at all. he can't seem to get over the fact that British tv and British films are so much better than anything North America dares to produce. it could be the way he rates it, being pretty British most of the time.  <3 <3