all I want for Christmas is you.

the clock ticks midnight, the party-goers cheer up and down the road, the children are in their beds waiting for Santa to bring them presents galore. he sits alone, hoping that out in the world at least one person is out there thinking that this is a magical holiday, that that person had captured the holiday spirit. he's lost it himself long ago. he sees the presents under the tree and wonders why, why should he be blessed with consumer goods when he has all that he needs, when all he asked for was for acceptance. he watches the presents dwindle as try are given to family and friends. still, he does not believe himself to deserve so much. this Christmas his list is a little less physical. he wants the strength to finish coming out, he wants support in doing so, and he wants every other being struggling with doing so to have that same support.  when the cars on the road are farther between and there should be peace in the night air, he makes out the melodies of carol playing across the lane. they give him hope, they give a type of spirit. nothing could help him to try to rekindle his spirit for the holidays better, except for a dusting of pure white snow.  like any other highschooler, he tries to be on everyone's minds, sending out a mass text to his closest friends to tell them happy christmas. he only hopes to make someone's night, to be on someone's mind. he sends out his love hoping for a little in return. the he hates himself for being so vain. he hates what this holiday has been turned into by urban society. <3 <3